Forgive me i was like 12
Chapter One: OHF introduces the contestants, and splits them up into two teams. The first team, Matsing, consists of the following. MrD, CK, Trey, Bruno, The Whale, Toad, Fanny, Jake, Manatee and Reddy. The second team, Aravalli, consists of Jess, Zoey, Sunshine, Jay, QOS, Indi, Ben, Gideon, Chimmy and Kate. MrD and Kate begin to make out for no reason, and Bruno dry-humps the whale, who is in fact a gigantic whale that is slowly dying because he's not in the ocean. Chapter Two: OHF tells the contestants their first challenge; an obstacle course, kinda. The two teams are tied together by a single piece of rope, and together, must cross the obstacle course. Then, they have to solve a puzzle. First team to do so wins. At first, the two teams are tied, but thanks to Chimmy's quick wits, Aravalli wins the challenge, and Matsing goes to tribal council, where they vote off The Whale. After, QOS takes Ben aside, and tells him that they are now in an alliance. Ben suggests that they should be called "Leshawna's Booty Gang," but QOS slaps him Chapter Three: Bruno is distraught over The Whale's elimination, and so doesn't talk to anyone or do anything, really. Trey runs into the tribe with tree mail, and the contestants read it. OHF is too lazy to make a poem or some sh*t, so he just tells them the reward challenge upfront. The challenge is pretty simple. Whoever says I win first gets a lighter. Manatee uses his transvestite to silence everyone, and says it first, thus earning his team the lighter. They light the fire and eat rice like kings. The next day, QOS tells Ben to throw the challenge so they can eliminate Chimmy for being a lesbian, but Ben doesn't listen because he's day-dreaming about Anne Maria. During the immunity challenge, before OHF can explain, Bruno quits due to The Whale's leaving. OHF calls him an obsessive weirdo and Bruno leaves the show. Chapter Four: The Whale is allowed to return to the game because turns out he didn't die and OHF is nice. He is saddened by Bruno's leaving but he doesn't really care. The Whale is determined to win and makes an alliance with Toad and CK. Jeff says that due to the Whale returning, two people will be eliminated. He also says the challenge will be reward + immunity. The two teams will have to swim under the ocean and find a key, then unlock a treasure chest. Once unlocked, they will have to solve a riddle. Jess proclaims that she is a good swimmer, so she will go underwater. The Whale obviously goes for Matsung. The Whale finds the key easily because he's lived in the water all his life, and Jess drowns. Jay makes an apple pie, but then jumps into the water and saves Jess. However, when this is all finished, Matsung has already won. During tribal council, Jay is eliminated for saving Jess's lives, costing them the win. Jay asks if she should have let her drown, and the other contestants nod. Jay leaves, muttering curses under her breath. Ben is also eliminated due to being weird and creepy. QOS then makes an alliance with Chimmy, and says in the confessional that she will run the game. Chapter Five: Chimmy and QOS talk about their alliance plans. QOS says that Gideon is a threat because he's so smart. However, Gideon hears this and makes an alliance with Kate, but Kate declines because she thinks he's gonna rape her. Then MrD and her have sex. Sunshine overhears of Gideon's plans, and agrees to be in an alliance with him. Gideon also asks Jess, who agrees because she can't say no. The Whale, Toad, and CK agree to eliminate Fanny and Jake when the time comes. OHF calls the two teams to shore and tells them of the hidden immunity idol. He then explains the reward + immunity challenge. The reward will be chicken. He explains that the contestants will be who can pop their pussy the fastest. Kate does so, and so Matsung goes to tribal council. At tribal council, Fanny is eliminated, but before he is, he curses at Jake and calls him a "no good, mean, bully of a boy." Chapter Six: The Whale accidentally poops in Trey's clothes, so Trey vows to eliminate him. MrD and him make an alliance and agree to eliminate The Whale. They also ask Jake and Manatee, and both agree. They then make a plan to throw the challenge in order to eliminate The Whale. Meanwhile, The Whale is rubbing his naked body with shampoo. During the challenge, OHF explains the challenge, who can get the fastest erection. All of the girls scream 'the system is corrupt', but unfortunately OHF doesn't care. Toad glances at Zoey and gets an erection in a split-second, but Jake sucks on it and it goes down. Gideon looks at this, and being a closet-homo, gets an erection, sending Matsung to tribal council. The Whale gets four votes, but before he can be eliminated, he screams "mooooaroahaha" and a hidden immunity idol seeps out through his blow-hole. Since Jake has the second most votes, he is eliminated instead. Chapter Seven: Indi tells Gideon he is too boring, and Gideon says "gaze whom is conversing” (look who’s talking). OHF explains the challenge - whoever quits first will win for their team, but that person will be eliminated. Jess shakes her head, and so does Zoey and Sunshine. QOS says absolutely no, and Chimmy shakes her head. Gideon shrugs, and Indi thinks for a moment. On the other tribe, the contestants are trying to convince the Whale to quit but he just keeps repeating "mooooaroahaha." Indi then sighs and says that she will quit. OHF nods and Indi leaves. OHF smiles and says due to Aravalli winning, Matsung will be sending someone home. They sigh and walk back to camp. At tribal council, MrD gets the most votes and is eliminated. Chapter Eight: Matsung is disappointed in their performance in the challenge. The next morning, OHF explains the challenge. Whoever gets through this video without dying or being traumatized wins: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P9sQZLtsfp8. During the first minute of the challenge, Chimmy, Kate, QOS, Sunshine, Zoey and Jess all forfeit, even if they all like boys. CK and Trey vomit and quit, and The Whale burns his eyes. Toad and Manatee remain, while Reddy shoots himself in the face. Gideon punches Manatee, making him catch on fire, and so he quits. Toad and Gideon remain, but because Gideon is homosexual, he begins to masturbate to the video. Toad quits and Gideon wins for Aravalli. Matsung loses and goes to tribal council. Later that night, Trey is eliminated for getting the most votes. Chapter Nine: The Whale, Toad and CK talk about eliminating Reddy and then Manatee. They also realize that after two people are eliminated, the two tribes will merge. During the challenge, OHF explains that whoever can whip their hair back and forth while simultaneously peeing on a fellow castaway and get it highly rated by a monkey in a barrel will win for their team. CK volunteers to go up for his team, and QOS goes for hers. CK begins to whip his hair back and forth and pee on The Whale, and a monkey nearby gives him a 10/10. QOS does the same but her vagina is too loose so she accidentally pees on OHF. A monkey nearby gives her a 1/10 for effort. For the first time, Aravalli actually loses. Gideon talks to Sunshine and Jess and tells them to eliminate QOS. Jess tells Zoey to eliminate QOS as well. During tribal council, QOS gets the most votes but she whips out an immunity idol that was hidden in her vagina (which explains why it was so loose). Kate had the most votes, so she is eliminated. Chapter Ten: Jess and Zoey make out while Gideon vomits because he's gay. The two teams arrive to the challenge area where OHF explains that the two teams will create a podcast of Jay Byars and hand it to the other team. Whichever team does not fap will win. CK and The Whale lazily get some pictures of Bryars that are decent and place it in the podcast. Jess and Gideon team up to create the perfect podcast, and when finished, they are both certain that the other team will not fap during it. The two teams exchange podcasts, and Jess and Gideon wait for someone to fap during their video. One small problem, though. The Whale is asexual, and CK, Toad, Manatee and Reddy are all straight, so none of them masturbate. However, when team Aravalli is presented their podcast, every single one of them begins to masturbate. Thus, team Aravalli loses and must send someone home. Later that night, at tribal council, Zoey is eliminated. Jess is saddened by this, and quits. Aravalli are both shocked by this, but Gideon shrugs and continues to fap. Chapter Eleven: OHF explains to the two tribes that teams are no more, and it's every man for themselves. The contestants cheer, and The Whale says in the confessional and he thinks QOS is a threat. QOS makes an alliance with Reddy, Gideon, and Chimmy. Reddy accepts because he thinks some contestants are after him, Gideon accepts because his alliance with Sunshine won't be enough thanks to Jess quitting, and Chimmy accepts because she's a lesbian and she thinks QOS is cute even though QOS is 12. During the challenge, each contestant must stand on a pole and dance while simultaneously masturbate. Whoever stands on it the longest without touching the ground wins immunity. The Whale is too fat so he crushes the pole, sending him hurdling towards the ground. Plus he doesn't have arms so he can't masturbate. Manatee is a transvestite so he has no penis (it was taken off due to surgery), so he is out. Sunshine and Chimmy begin to dance but trip and fall off. QOS pushes Gideon off, and Toad trips. It's CK vs QOS. CK cums and falls off, earning QOS immunity. Later at tribal council, Reddy gets 4 votes, and so does Sunshine. QOS's vote hasn't been read yet, and it's the only one left. OHF reaches into the box and the vote is for... Reddy. Reddy is eliminated and becomes the first member of the jury. Chapter Twelve: The Whale and QOS clash, due to QOS saying that she will eliminate him. The Whale blows water on her and states that he is a much better strategist. OHF is too lazy to come up with a chapter, so he says that the contestants will just randomly vote. Manatee gets the most votes and is eliminated. He shakes his head and calls this "the most bootleg chapter ever." Manatee becomes the second member of the jury and joins Reddy. Chapter Thirteen: Toad and CK agree that The Whale is becoming too much of a threat, and that they should eliminate him. QOS overhears this and agrees to vote off The Whale as well. She smirks and in the confessional states that The Whale is stupid for trying to vote her off. The Whale joins the alliance of Gideon and Sunshine, who have both forgotten about their alliance with QOS (lol so many alliances). OHF explains the challenge, that each contestant will have to eat rotten sauce out of Jay's pus*y. Whoever doesn't vomit wins. Jay walks up and says "hey y'all, I haven't cleaned my motorboat for a while, so there's some black semen in there, hope it doesn't make you vomit lol." QOS goes, but vomits quickly. Chimmy vomits from seeing this and so she is out of the challenge as well. Jay giggles at this. The Whale goes to lick it but accidentally blows water from his blowhole, which counts as vomiting. CK vomits at this, and is out. Toad farts and then vomits because it smells bad, and is out of the challenge. Only Gideon is left. He goes and licks the sauce like a professional. Due to the orgasmic feeling, Jay goes "adhlahfpouasg;odf;iogkdgjm;oinglofgnao;sfg." Gideon finishes and explains that Jay is his wife so he knows her tickle spots. Gideon wins immunity and that night, Chimmy is eliminated due to not being in an alliance with anyone and becomes the third member of the jury. Chapter Fourteen: The contestants are still sick from the other day, and so they pray that OHF picks an easy challenge. QOS talks to Toad and CK, and they agree to do whatever it takes to make sure The Whale doesn't win the challenge. The contestants walk to the shore and OHF explains that the contestants will have to regurgitate all of the spice back into Jay's pusseh. He brings out a giant bucket of chewed up spice with a naked Jay at the top. Sunshine immediately vomits and is out of the challenge. Gideon knows he won't be eliminated, so he forfeits. QOS stuffs her mouth with chewed up sauce and pours it onto Jay's pus*y, but quickly vomits on it. Toad does the same, but once he sees her pus*y with chewed up sauce and vomit, he quickly throws up and is out. Jay starts to giggle and masturbate at their pain. The Whale sighs and says "but I don't want to touch that!" He then has an idea. He grabs a mouthful of sauce and pours it into his blowhole. He strains and pushes the sauce out of it, and it falls right onto Jay's pusseh. Jay grins and has an orgasm. Later that night at tribal council, QOS tells Toad and CK to vote someone. They nod and the votes are revealed. With four votes, Sunshine is eliminated and becomes the fourth member of the jury. Gideon frowns and tells her that he will win. Chapter Fifteen: Toad is ecstatic to be in the final five, and Gideon shrugs. QOS is mad that The Whale is still not out, and CK is neutral, because he believes it's not the same as winning. OHF tells the final five their challenge - an auction. The contestants are relived that this challenge will be normal. However, they are not so relieved when they learn that three people will be debuting; Sunny, Jax and Bruno. OHF explains that there are 20 items next to him. Everyone has 30 dollars, and they will need to bid on an object. Whoever gets the most items once everyone has spent their money will win the challenge. OHF raises a box and asks people to bid. QOS bids 5 dollars, and CK outbids with 10. No one else bids, so CK gets the box, which is a giant black dildo. OHF raises another box, and Gideon bids 7 dollars. No one bids, so Gideon gets the box which is a packet of condoms. A montage is played, and eventually, everyone has 2 boxes except for QOS and Sunny. OHF raises a box, and QOS bids 15 dollars. Sunny outbids her with 20 dollars, and QOS does not have anymore money. Sunny wins the box, which is Jay's removed clitoris. Everyone hears Jay giggle, and at Tribal Council, Bruno is eliminated and becomes the fifth member of the jury. Chapter Sixteen:The final seven talk about their experiences on the island (except for the newcomers of course), and how glad they are that they made it this far. The next day, OHF explains the challenge. The 7 castaways must climb through a rope maze to retrieve 3 bags of puzzle pieces. Once they have all three they must carry them in their mouths across a bigger rope maze there, and then they must assemble the puzzle. First to do so wins immunity. Jax climbs his rope maze, and finds a bag. He carries it with his mouth, and QOS steals it. She runs away, and Jax groans. Toad finds a bag, and QOS steals this as well. As she is running, she bumps into The Whale, who steals those bags and finds another. He crosses another rope maze, and then opens his bag of mazes. He is followed by QOS, who is then followed by Sunny. All three of them work on the puzzle, and CK quickly catches up to them. Toad, Gideon and Jax are still working on the last rope maze, and The Whale quickly finishes. He wins immunity, and later at tribal council, Toad is eliminated and becomes the sixth member of the jury. Chapter Seventeen: OHF is tired of the show, so he eliminates Jax for no reason. Gideon tells OHF that what he is doing is extremely unprofessional, so he eliminates Gideon. The contestants keep their mouth shut, knowing very well what will happen if they say something wrong. OHF then explains the challenge which is whoever can read the fic without dying of laughter wins immunity. QOS laughs and passes out, and the Whale follows. It's between Sunny and CK, but Sunny lets out a snicker and starts to laugh hysterically. He enters a coma and CK wins immunity. Later that night at tribal council, the Whale manages to convince Sunny and CK to vote for QOS, and QOS is eliminated. She becomes the ninth member of the jury, and only three are left; Sunny, CK and The Whale. Chapter Eighteen - The Finale: The final three, Sunny, CK, and The Whale, sit in their seats as the jury of seven come out (yes, jury of seven - two of them couldn't make it) which are Manatee, Sunshine, Bruno, Toad, Jax, Gideon and QOS. Manatee asks the finalists why they deserve his vote. Sunny explains that he's new and that in no way did he eliminate Manatee. CK explains that he was the only person who's been in the game since the beginning, he didn't return like that stupid whale, and he's not a dumb newcomer who was lucky and made it to the finals. Sunshine asks the three of them if they like ravioli. They all say yes and she mutters something under her breath. Bruno says that he's obviously voting for The Whale, but he wants to know why Sunny and CK deserve his vote. They say the same thing. Toad asks CK why he blindsided him and voted for him. CK shrugs and explains that he thought Toad was a threat. Toad sighs. Jax asks why is everyone so ugly. Gideon asks why The Whale is not dead yet, and the Whale shrugs. Finally, QOS asks our finalists if they knew that she wanted them out day one. The Whale said yes, while Sunny and CK said no. OHF then motions for the jury of seven to vote. Bruno is shown writing 'The Whale' on a piece of paper. He smiles at the camera and says "good luck buddy." QOS is then shown writing 'CK' on a piece of paper. She looks at the camera. "My vote was originally going to be for The Whale for being such a good strategist, but he had an advantage when he returned week three. CK has been here since the beginning, and he didn't have a big alliance, I think. He made it here all by himself, and I think he deserves it the most." A montage is then shown of everyone voting a name on paper that cannot be seen. Finally, OHF stands and grabs the jar of papers. He opens up a paper. "One vote for Sunny." Sunny smiles. OHF grabs another. "One vote for The Whale." The Whale blows water from his blow hole. "Another for The Whale." The Whale smiles and looks at Bruno. OHF grabs another paper. "One vote for CK." CK sighs a breath of relief. OHF then reminds the finalists that you need three votes to win. OHF grabs another paper. "Another for CK." CK grins at the chance that he might win a million dollars. OHF grabs another paper. "Another for Sunny." Sunny smiles, and OHF grabs the last vote. "The winner of Survivor: Wikia is... ... ... ... ... ... CEEEEE-KAAAAAAY!" Sunny, The Whale, and the jury cheer as CK cries tears of joy. Everyone congratulates him, while Bruno dry-humps The Whale. Nearby, MrD and Kate are having sex, and Jay is masturbating. Everyone raises CK and cheers his name. OHF then wishes the audience a good night.